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I wonder…

Why is there this huge fuss about a wedding? What makes wedding an all-important all-consuming event in the life of young men and women, and of course their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and friends? Isn’t marriage just a certificate, for the benefit of society and wedding just a party to announce the union of two individuals to the world at large? Have I, in saying this, oversimplified marriage or just rattled out the eventual truth? Wasn’t that the original or the primary rationale behind the concept?

The basic foundation…

Primarily, this whole marriage thing finds its genesis in the basic desire of humans to seek companionship, to love and be loved, to share their lives with each other. A Wedding party is a further solidification of this commitment, in the form of public declaration of the relationship status that allowed the two individuals to buy and live in a home together and fill out legal forms.

If we look back through the sheets of time, we can analyze that the concept of “marriage” would have been introduced in the system to bring together two individuals from opposite gender for a lifelong intimacy and companionship. The concept of “wedding” would have been introduced in the system as a “party” or a “feast” to celebrate this union.


The polluted version…

Over the years, we have introduced multiple layers of corruption over the pure emotions and acts. Generations of humans observed their ancestors, followed a long list of trends or rituals and passed them on to their successors, without internalizing the true meaning or essence. And we landed up where we are today. Marriage has become a “must-do” for the sake of society, not because there is a genuine desire to spend and share a life with someone. Wedding has become a “circus”, not a celebration of couple’s joy with family and friends.

Marriage has acquired this whole magnanimous meaning that encompasses so many futile sub-plots that the basic foundation of love, intimacy and lifelong companionship has lost its spirit. Marriage today is just a synonym of commitment, unwanted constraints and unquestioned respect or credibility to relationships. Wedding today means expensive dresses and jewelry, a competition and display of societal and economic status, unnecessarily long photo sessions, paranoid parents and confounded couples.

And we all, at some point, have been victims of our own irrationality and idiocy. I have known unmarried couples more committed to each other than the so-called happily married couples. I have seen married couples making a mockery of relationship, who don’t even share enough trust and care to deserve to be a part of the same family. It’s a very unfortunate turn of events our society has seen.

A marriage ideally happens right at the moment the couple accept each other from the bottom of their hearts; everything else is just fireworks display and paper work.


An after-thought…

What surprises me most is this false sense of security that men and women try to assume or forcefully extract on the basis of a marriage certificate. It leads to not just an unpleasant control over the partner’s life, but also a very unfortunate sense of paranoia, lack of trust and insecurity in the relationship. Sometimes, it leads to unwanted overconfidence in the title of a ‘wife’ or a ‘husband’ that it empowers some lowly enough people to revel in it and demean everyone else who does not hold the coveted title. The faith that the society as a whole has put in the name of a wife, allows them to ‘tag’ every other woman (even once-married widows or divorcees) in the category of an ill-fated single or a husband-hunter or a prostitute. Why is it still difficult for society to accept that some women as a choice might have decided to stay single? Why is a single woman’s character questioned? Why is a single man excused from scrutiny?


My final thoughts…

In my opinion, “marriage” is the most over-rated term in the dictionary of human relationships and “wedding” is the most over-hyped (and most expensive) event / party in the lifetime of a human.


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