The writing bug has always been there inside me, but I never had a clue as to what extent I would let the virus spread. As a matter of fact, I still have no clue. I realized that I had seriously bothered to save and log my writings only since 2006. Today, just like that, I visited my old folders, which came into existence some five years back when I was still a student. While browsing, I came across this one special document, which was the first ever that I allowed to travel outside the safe sanctuary of my personal computer and shared with a couple of friends. I want to share the same today on this blog.
Background to the thought
It was the Sept of 2006. I had recently watched No Man’s Land; the movie and climax shook me beyond belief. Soon after that, I read an article by Mahesh Bhatt about his relationship with Parveen Babi. I, being an outsider, can never know the truth amongst the riot of gossips and stories all around the media. All I could figure out was that the story had an element of a man in love with a woman who didn’t enjoy a perfect mental health; and a man in love watched his beloved falling in darker and deeper shadows with each passing day, helplessly. I couldn’t bear the thought of ever being in a position of that man. I didn’t know fact from fiction. I didn’t know truth from media-distorted gossip. I still don’t. In either case, it made a heart-rending story. I was sorry that any human had to live through that agony. And multiple questions pricked me, with no relief of probable answers. The only consolation was a statement made by Mahesh Bhatt (as per some online magazine), with which I ended my thought below.
“I wonder why??
I always believed there are no no-solution problems. There are no ‘justs’. Every action has a reason behind it. And every question has an answer. Just that we are not brave enough to accept it or patient enough to search for it. But here is the latest lesson to the process of my growing up – There are, in fact, no-answer questions and no-solution problems. In my immaturity, I always believed this is just an escape route. Or is it absurd to believe otherwise and claim it maturity? Now that’s another debated question.
How many times have we wondered why? And how many times have we got an answer? There are many a whys and many a mysteries. And in midst of it all is the curious human mind, bewildered, seeking for answers. And more often than not, the mystery remains unrevealed. Still curious within the heart and hoping for better, they say, “I don’t know”. The not-knowing, however, leads to resignation and a feeling of disappointment somewhere deep within. And I wonder why?
We have all encountered or witnessed complex situations and mysteries, desperately seeking a solution. Some of us persist while others resign. But sometimes the only way to conclude is ‘I don’t know and may never know’. And realize that ‘Not knowing is not resignation; it is an opening to amazement.’ “